S'09: RTW Milan

Lush to AcidQ :
MILAN! Phew, a city more patterned to my own soul. I hope you haven't let me down in that, Milan. I dearly hope so. *Polishes gat *

*Alberta Ferretti

Right off the cat (instead of "bat"? walk? CAT WALK? sigh) I'm noticing some issue with fit. Some saggy nylons here,

some droopy bustlines, but I guess that's how Alberta rolls. Voluminous and with room to grow.

There is, however, a sort of murky underwater feel to it all, (fisher's netting,for example? a mermaiden?) which I appreciate as it recalls Venice to me.
We've instantly veered away from the practicality of London. While it was a short and intense passion between me and practicality up ^ above, I do not miss it.
Remember how Aliyah and Brandy and those girls used to wear their pants low rise and had intensely tiny waists to contrast the bagginess of their jeans? I do. And I think on it here. But in a higher fashion, less "street" way. And then, suddenly S & M. A bit like Suddenly Susan. I won't attempt to meld that anomaly into my sea theme...perhaps a squid was...no.
Status: Tonight, this one shall sleep with the fishes. It will feel quite at home.

------We interrupt this program to inform you how grating the Kylie Minogue Tous ads are getting. I'M NOT THROWING DOWN $2K TO BUY DIAMONDY NOT-CUTE TEDDY BEAR PENDANTS. (OF WHICH THE BOTTOM PORTION OF THE SILHOUETTE KIND OF RESEMBLES A BALL SAC!) KNOW THIS. LIVE WITH IT. And now, back to our show.-------

*Blumarine (oman the sequins. THE GLITTER DRESSES.) Now you've gone and done it. You've pumped me up!

Lovely.




Lose the belt, we'll talk.


I will now own this, please. Prepared for the bevy of glitter and sequins as I was, this show is actually quite sophisticated.


And this? You can't not appreciate that- the way the loop falls over her eye?

And this, is new. Gorgeous, refined, I'll take it.

Does the name Karmen Pedaru annoy you? Her face/body are fine - w/evs. But her last name sounds like "pederast." Just sayin'

Status: BEST OF THE LOT THUS FAR.

*Dolce and Gabbana (At the very least for the shoes. And wait for look 44. Just you WAIT. D&G was kind of crappy though.) *Claps hands* Now that's what I'm talking about folks. Show time!
PJs? For Fashion? That's like having peanut butter for breakfast. With Dolce and Gabbana, and Reese's Puffs, now you can ;D


Lazing around is fun, and if you have cute clothes to do it in, why not? Couple that with shoes like these:
And then I'm really on board. I found myself lookbooking a lot of the close-ups on textures and materials rather than the whole ensembles. Take the following for example:

Theoretically with all that's going on there it seems like it should be a hot mess. But as the print is tiny flowers and small flourishes, it works excellently. My new roommate is super into tiny flower prints. I should show her this. Anyhow. Okay so look 44.

That is the absolute bee's knees, dang it. Oooh do i love it. Let's zoom in for a closer look.That pup is the "Aww" heard 'round the world.
I liked how the end merged together with the beginning in a half-pajama, half-gown outfit. It's like Finnegans Wake: a circle! 0_o

I'll always find nautical fashion adorable. That said, I brace myself knowing full well who D & G are and what it means for a piece of clothing to be adorned with said label.

Let's not speak a word of this, let's just look at it silently for one minute.




Done? Okay moving along. Look not at the forefront of this, look instead beyond to the hind of the woman in the swim cap. Imagine that trotting away from you. Now sleep fast and dream of it. It's quite haunting I think, but in a friendly way. And then, do the same for this image. I actually quite like the front thing therein. But look at the backside of that jail-y Jesus woman. Damn girl, you got some back.

Chanel goes to sea.

I see now Josh Goot of London picked up the parachuting memo from D&G:

Status: This was more of a mandatory inclusion, so I'll pass no judgment.

*Dsquared (There's a lot - and I mean a lot - of high-waisted denim, but the final gowns are pretty haute.) Something so cute about this designing duo I've always enjoyed. *Gently dabs brow* Man it is good to be back in fashion land, it's been too long. *opens Dsquared² * They always drip sex with their designs. And this little puma is what I'm talking about. If I looked like that, I'd never take off that bathing suit. It wouldn't even start to smell bad because it's clearly magical. Gander at it.

Something else I take away from this show is seperates - you can wear at least one piece of almost every ensemble, and I give props to that. I'm going on a diet so I can wear suits like these! Oh how I pine for sun in my life.

This dress is beautiful, but it kind of looks like she's been caught by a sexy bear trap about the waist.

These people live the most charmed lives I've ever imagined.

Status: OF course, y'old HORSE!

*Pucci (I don't know if you're not a Pucci print fan but whatever. Get off yer (yr? Is that cooler?) high horse, snob.) I can't believe you'd assume I wouldn't like Pucci. That's YOU being a snob. Get off YR high horse, richie. (To quote l'Office.) I've always loved psychedelic trippy dippy acid hippy Pucci. Let's recall drawings made in Blue sessions, hm? Pucci-esque.

I know you don't prefer one-shoulder dresses, but consider just how lovely they can be.Ju know? Ju wann some mocha, mocha? I think a lot of these patterns work primarily since the colors are muted. They're free to be a little kookier. As soon as I dared to type that we blasted into the circus that is this. If I've ever seen a face of constipation, Agy, that is it.

I find that the type of color explosion that works is tempered with black, but not lorded over by it. Status: Not the Halcyon Days of Pucci, but worth it.

I have to say, I'm compiling this list as I go through all the Milan shows, and Emporio Armani had 90 fucking looks, only 7 or so of which were worth a damn, (yeah, not even going to go there) and now that I've gotten through Fendi (which was eh), I see that I now have to look at Giorgio Armani. I hate fashion, Lush. I hate it. Forever. Understandably.

*Gianfranco Ferre

This was made for rich people. It's perhaps not as outlandish as say, Oscar del or Carolina Ferrera, but it's still...ritzy. Sure, sometimes fashion is about what we may not have, may not ever hope to have, but may look upon. That doesn't mean I don't like some of the looks. The silhouettes have been cut quite sharp and clean, and I appreciate that. But something about this show - the lighting? the fabrics? The lack of colors? Feels uncreative and TOO perfect. Do you see what I mean?

Oh, I'd wear them. I'd wear them all the way to the bank, where I'd say, "I'd like to open a millionaire platinum account with 50% interest, please." And the tellers would comply, because they'd fear I was a really rich robot or, I know, a stepford wife.

Now I can't discuss the ones I did add to my lookbook because they don't fit in with my theme. That statement alone indicates that I did like more than I've let on. But we shall tarry here no more.
Status: Begrudgingly Agreed

*I will say that Giorgio Armani is probably worth a glance at. It was like 76 looks and there was some pretty stuff. Not amazing, but okay.

Sigh, 76 looks and not amazing? Well here I go. You always seem to have some kind of reluctant affection for Armani, but I've just never liked it. His suits have always seemed so '80's to me.
But I'll admit, if I were tall, I'd buy these.
God, the girls are not been having a great week. First Agyness Deyn is constipated up ^ there, and now, Jessica Stamm has ennui.
Probably because the blase condition of that ensemble does not match the supreme being inside her.

Isn't this woman

a little old to be showing her belly button? And, I hate the hair in this show. Greasy, stringy, wet, drippy? Yeah, Armani, that'll sell 'em!

The thing that strikes me most about this is how very Armani it all is. And I wouldn't be caught dead in the majority of this garbage.
Status: A shower of Yeahs and Whatevers.

*Gucci (not bad! I think you'll like their suits.)
From the review:
"Gucci now is a clearly segmented, businesslike collection with no pretense of being anything other than hip, immediately understandable clothes for a young global audience."

I can get into the straightforwardness of this as long as the clothes mesh with the ideals. If fashion isn't balls-out insane colors and moving shapes and textures and vision, then I probably do want it to be something I can envision enrobing myself in.
Let us see, Gucci.
2nd look in, she seems...pasty, freaky, translucent? Then I realize it's special "underwater" lighting. Well, not as bad. Immediate impression was corpse though.

The dying-to-be-a-stewardess part of me adores this. You're right, I do like the suits. They're hip and young in a way Armani, who obviously caters to elders, will never be, and that would be okay ....but it's just not.

I often waver on Gucci but this show is winning me back over. They've veered away from being simply EuroTrash into clothes EuroTrash people would wear, but others would also.


This is how you do a billowy pillowsack dress yet remain sexy.

Status: Gucci, I applaud you. You've come a long way baby.

So check this horrifying Just Cavalli dress:

. . .

I've seen this giant face shit done a thousand ways to Sunday and it never looks good! It's not avant-garde and it's not cute. I just don't get it.

*So I a little bit cheated and skipped ahead to Balenciaga, which went yesterday - happy birthday, me! - and it is nutso. In a good way.

Yes, viewing a Balenciaga show is always like opening a present. Full of lithium and cotton candy. Yum! * rips off the wrapping *
Yay! 2001: A Nicolas Odyssey, you can tell is the theme. If anybody can, he can. I can't even figure out what kind of optical fabric he's using on these shoulders but I adore it. The funny thing is for nearly anybody else this would be considered couture, but you can totally see why it's r-t-w for Balenciaga.

I love the shoe "semblance" he's using. Ugh its all so brilliant.

Status: One of the slim few I wish had more looks.

*Oh, Moschino is worth checking out. It's not amazing but there's some cute stuff. Cheap and Chic is kinda cute too.

One of my historical faves, I know to always swallow Moschino with a grain of salt. I mean have you been to their website? I'm so glad it's remained the same through these years. Once you get inside, check out 41, or say, 10. I'll never forget the Olive Oyl thing they did, and now a lot of the clothes remind me of it. Not so much that they resemble her, but the comic effect and cartoony feel are spot-on.

Oops, I think Valentino showed up for a second!
The girl I think of as "pederast" returns with a priceless expression.


Maybe my favorite look!

Cheap and Chic: Many of these clothes remind me of Ilyse. I mean that in a good way, but they're mostly "not for me."
Status: Pretty good but not Winningly so.

*Prada is like boobs and burlap. Sick. Just a russet sack of sick. Hot shoes, though.

I'm sad about it, but I'll comply. I'm having a hell of a time ignoring the bootys but the shoes are hot. EEk those bootys. I mean I wear them with flats that are completely enclosed, so my feet don't kill. But protruding from the toe area when the shoe is perfectly cute and wearable on its own? BLEH! It really bothers me. I got to 44 out of 101 and I'm done with this.

Status: WTF PRADA? W?T?F?

(ETA: Okay, actually a lot of the shoes have this weird elastic booty thing going on around the toes that rests on top of the insole...and I kind of don't like that. what the HELL is that? the shoe would be just fine without it. Cute, even. but, fuck that FUCK that. get a pedi. you don't need to wear a sock.) (I just read on the Sartorialist recently that they booty things are not attached to the insole, but were socks that all of the models wore, which apparently made a lot of the models fall. Oh ew, but apparently they're planning on sewing the socks on when they produce the shoes. Yuck. Unbelievable. They must have fallen and smacked their pretty little heads on pavement. Anyway, here's a video!) Watching this is like eating ice cream but less fattening. The wobbles, the way those audience people try to catch her, the ankle bones sure to be brittle and swollen for the rest of her life....ah, fashion. You don't disappoint.

In other news, here's that model I hate who's in those Philosophy di Alberta Ferretti ads:

Don't you just fuckin HATE her?? Oh God, do I. Her name is Georgina Stojilkovic. I will say that her face is a map of the world, it's a map of the world. But maybe that's a somewhat dubious compliment. And by maybe I mean definitely, 'cause fuck that girl's face. I didn't see her in any other shows that I recall and I look forward to that remaining the same.


*Roberto Cavalli's generally hideous.

Outfit for a queen baby of ugliness.

For the puritan voyeur.
For the woman who wants to stand out on the planet of Arrakis.


This girl's face reminds me of Kim Kelly from Freaks and Geeks. (doesn't get a status since you didn't technically include it- luckily for you)

*Versace is really hot. Fab.
Ok then. Welcome to the good life. Now throw your hands up in the sky! Excellent clothes, sexy shoes, this is it, mama. I heart this as much as there are hearts IN it.

Status: nom nom nom.