S'09: Couture Christians

Christian Dior: So his ready-to-wear show was pretty lackluster. We can accept this and move forward.

Let me start by asking you, isn't this the type of life you wished you lived?Just insane hair, toast munching, phone chattering life? That was backstage at Christian Dior.
Okay now what, for the love of succulent baby Jesus, is going on here?????? Trussed up-furry-hair-croissant is the best English approximation I can come up with. It's- just- wow. And there's no way to prepare you for the next image. I'm just going to fling it yon-ward ho!:OQIehOEFHHE;HG???? OIHDOeihgqheog.

Yeah.
And that is merely the beginning. The color palette is exquisite. The silhouettes are classic Dior insan-itude (which is like attitude plus insane).


After some of the fug that was ready-to-wear, you'll feel like you were trying to fight a war in Russia. Your men were outnumbered, the Russians had better weapons, and most of all, the fashion landscape was unforgiving, not cut out for real people.
The cold was seeping into your bones and very heart.


Cut your losses and give that up baby. Step into the light. This is couture. This is art. This is the reason you care about fashion.

First of all, yes. That is the exact life I want to be living. And I'm going to claw it out of her pale, undernourished hands. Maybe I'll let her keep the toast.

Also, wouldn't that make us fashion Nazis in that Russian scenario?

In other news, I loved this show. This was probably my favorite Dior since their Spring 08 couture show (which might be my favorite couture show ever). Galliano pretty much always has inventive silhouettes, but this is one of his most successful marriages of New Look Dior and outside influences:

And I'm also delighted and surprised that he held back on the detailing, letting them function more as graceful accents than as statements of their own (and as much as I love Galliano's embellishments, they're never really what you might call delicate).

The one lamentable thing about the subtlety of the detailing is that it resulted in not-great detail shots. Maybe then the trussed-up kielbasa hair thing would fit in more with the looks as a whole than as a period detail. But that shit's just lip service, baby. When the final gowns came out, I was all eyes.

STATUS: You're my number one guy, Galliano. Dolly, don't ever go away again!

Christian Lacroix All the girls wear these humongous door-knocker earrings encrusted with jewels. Other than that, I pretty much was not into this show tatall. Maybe I'm not sophisticated or something, but I think it's just ugly.

I'll grant you, Lacroix's first few looks did nothing for me.

What in the hell are you doing to our Chanel? She's not some toy for you to splash your Starlight Express fantasies on! And this

looks like Reebok by Lacroix. But I didn't hate this collection. Granted, some of it is kind of hideous...

...and some more of it is also pretty hideous...

...the show (brief interruption: I love the facial expressions of the woman on the left. What a roller coaster ride this must be for her) still had its fair share of pearls.

Do you remember when the costume designer from Marie-Antoinette won the Oscar and she totally looked like Oscar Wilde and it was totally delightful? I loved that look then and I love it still.

If you don't find these charming, maybe you're in the wrong business, toots. And THESE?

STATUS: Maybe you were never sophisticated, Lush. Maybe that was all just a fever dream. The cream always rises to the top, but you stuck down there with the curds. And they stank.

S'09: Couture Chanel

I don't know if I can express to you how wonderful Chanel is this time. The details shots make my breath catch in my throat. You're going to think I'm being melodramatic, that's fine. I don't give a damn about the world. When I look at these...they are the world.
To quote:
"The room was all white, with every pillar deeply garlanded in giant paper flowers, tables covered with laser-cut paper cloths, and the staircase laden with yet more cutout roses and camellias. As the girls started to descend in pristine, precision-cut silhouettes, heads decorated with exquisite paper-flower tiara constructions, it was clear this was going to be a Chanel moment to treasure."


It was also clear Uncle Karl has been reading and LOVING Flowers in the Attic, by V.C. Andrews. Oh, the glory.

This Chanel show was definitely the loveliest show presented this season.

And the sequencing from white to black to white again is totally brilliant. It took me a while to finalize my thoughts about this show, though, and I think that it's because the show is tasteful to its own detriment.

I mean, these are all absolutely beautiful, but it's hard for me to get really excited by them. It definitely seems like a reaction to their last, more dramatic couture show, and while Karl Lagerfeld's versatility is certainly worth applauding, I still miss the build of excitement that the previous show had, with its increasingly outlandish shapes (remember the HOOD? And the WEDDING DRESS?). The most climactic moment of this show comes from that enormous head-flower, and not from the clothes themselves.
STATUS: Gorgeous, but bloodless.

S'09: Couture A

Couture has arrived!

Unfortunately Alexis Mabille does not have detail shots.
The first couple looks are couples looks.
They remind me of the choirs at my high school, because before and after concerts they'd enter and exit the stage paired in couples, with the women feebly clinging to the crooked elbows of the men. I always wondered who picked the partners, because most of them looked none too thrilled about touching the other person so intimately. Wow this is getting to sound convoluted. Anyhow, that's what these couples look like to me, even though they're not touching.

Could they be more dour? I guess resembling a fireworks explosion does that to your soul.
Anyway check this cute lil look on Chanel Iman: Isn't that bag adorable?

I'm thinking of a certain someone (*cough* JIMMY *cough*) who loathes a certain texture, writ large in the following outfit:
He's probably vomiting somewhere right now. It does look kind of pretty on the bottom, though, and I don't mean the rump since you can't see that part. Finally, I want us all to admire these shoes:
They'd be excruciating to slip into, but they're really fun! In sum, a rather splotchy collection I thought. While there wasn't really any motif to wrap it together, there is a kind of humor and panache in it which I think will have a little something for everyone.

I was really not a fan of Mabille's fantasy school collection that he showed last season, and I went into this with pretty low expectations. I mean, come on.

Morticia Addams forced to take work as a domestic.

Mena Suvari in American Beauty. I throw my hands up in frustration at this. I'm not a fan of that red velvet Cries and Whispers thing going on up there either. As I went deeper in the show, though, I was surprised to find a decent amount of looks that I was fond of, if not blown away by.

Hey!

Yeah!

Lovely! My expectations, while low, have been surpassed; I especially liked the series of red pieces that come near the end of the show. So I can't say that I totally hated this show. Just kinda!
STATUS: Agreed - lackluster show with some appealing moments.

Anne Valérie Hash is only ten looks. To quote style, one is "a strapless dress with more than 1,000 pieces of ivory lace sewn into a train honed for the "first" wedding" which might honestly be a bit anti-climatic when you do see it but only because it's very subtle and understated. Hash's couture is sober, well-fitted and superbly constructed.

Sober is definitely the word for this, but I find Hash's eye for detail to be absolutely delightful.

Totally beautiful construction
and I love the silhouette as well. The delicate beading and lacework are basically exquisite...but the overall effect can be kind of underwhelming. This is beautiful

But this is kind of not as much.

STATUS: Definitely lovely and subtle, but sometimes subtle to its detriment. Also, not into those shiny suits. Rich ladies going to business meetings have classier things to wear, THANK you.

Armani Privé has detail shots, front row photos, and even beauty pics. The latter, are particularly fun since they expose how truly bizarre models and fashion are in any context outside the runway, for example:

Vain seaweed-head nymphs! (CAN YOU GET OVER THAT HANDI-WORK ON THE DRESSES THOUGH, REALLY? Just a hint of what you'll find in this show)

And, as far as front-row shots it's a total battle royale of the Vogue heads (New York, British, French, Italian- they're all there! Who's the hottest? It's kind of not even a contest) plus this bizarre, wonderful, inexplicable creature:
Who? What? Why?

As far as the actual show goes, as much as it pains me to say this about Armani, I think you're going to love it. (There's tons of nuttiness too, but it's definitely a great show) As a little taste:Opening thoughts:

Jesus God, this is going to be fantastic.

*mouth agape*

I am loving the Vase At My Grandma's House motif.

That just kind of broke my mind. This show is completely over-the-top, and in an EXACTLY perfect way.

The theme of the suits is kind of 21st Century Norma Desmond Goes to the Studio to Meet With DeMille, and I can't say that I entirely disapprove. I don't know if this is quite how I envisioned rich ladies going to business meetings, but it is a hilarious step in the right direction.

I mean! But really, what I'm kind of the most excited for here is to get a preview for Oscar fashions.

These are GORGEOUS, but might be too much for the red carpet.

I prefer the red fringed dress, but this slate strapless gown seems more likely.

Both of these dresses best make an appearance. That is all I'm saying.

STATUS: A pretty exquisite show - and an interesting counterpoint to that Asian-inspired Dior show a few seasons back.